In depth review after the break.
The Loo Roll comes in an attractive packaging of different hues of blue. The Crumpler branding is evident in the light packaging, which can also be reused for other Christmas wrapping needs. Once you open the package, you’re greeted with a tight roll of tissue paper that resembles the paper napkins of Starbucks, albeit slightly thinner. This comes as no surprise as the thickness of toilet paper has always been thinner than that of napkins. Have you ever tried wiping your crack with napkins, or worse yet — a receipt? It stings!
Side by side generic tissue paper, the Loo Roll wins in terms of firm packaging. You get the initial feel that this is definitely top dollar toilet paper that doesn’t break in shape even when it is in static form. The roll comes in 3.4 inches in height and about an inch worth of tissue paper in width.
The markings on the Loo Roll is consistent per sheet, and sheets can be used as objects of interest while laying a huge one in the throne. Notice the fine “paint by number” guide at the bottom of each sheet… for maximum efficiency, use only one color – brown.
Accompanying the Loo Roll is the miniature match box, also from Crumpler. Boxes come in a variety of colors with ten matches per box. In the photo is the red box variety which is easy to find in case it gets lost in your huge bag. When at a party or public bathroom, always make sure you light a match after the deed if there is no potpourri to mitigate the evidence. The miniature match box from Crumpler is the perfect companion for this.
In the photo above is the product side by side a AA battery and the right earbud of my headphones just to give you an idea of the size of the miniature.
My personal preference is always a bidet, but when push comes to shove and no water is in sight, the Crumpler Loo Roll is an ergonomic, soft as silk sheet for cleaning what has been shat.
The Loo Roll and miniature match box set come free whenever you buy a bag from the Crumpler store. It is not being sold.