Mostly Everything

‘Date a girl who blogs’ performed live in New York (among other Internet ramblings)

When: August 16th – 25th, 2012
Where: Under St. Marks, New York, NY
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Well, who would have thought, right? Got an email several days ago from Lively Productions, an amazing theater outfit (by amazing I mean really talented and funny) from New York. They asked me if I was willing to “lend” a familiar blog post I did last year — the one that shockingly got a lot of views here as well as re-blogs on Tumblr. ‘Date a girl who blogs‘ was making it into NY theater:

Blogologues: The Internet Performed, a delightful, tightly-choreographed revue of performed interpretations of blogs, tweets and other online novelties
Huffington Post

That’s halfway around the globe on the other side of the pond. I would have seriously loved to see them render it. If by chance you’re from there, do see them. Tickets! The videos they put online are hilarious, like this speed dating + creepy craigslist job offers mash up.

Here are some of the details:

The next Blogologuin’ installment continues its assault and exalt of all things webby. This time, we’re setting our sites (get it?) on the internet itself and all of those technowhatzits that connect us to the world. Wait. A show about blogs about blogs? Yeah, it’s just like a cute cat watching a video of himself on Youtube. It’s a beta-ful thing. So have words with friends, add it to your timeline, and join us at Blogologues!

Cast: Dave Thomas Brown, Matthew Cox, Allison Goldberg*, Jen Jamula* & Wendy Joy
Stage Manager: Becca Pickett*
Assistant Stage Manager: Casey Malone
Lighting Designer: Nick Solyom
Projection Designer: Dave Thomas Brown
Sound Designer: Matthew Cox
Board Op: Jim Armstrong

BLOGGERS: Alex Balk (The Awl), Amanda Miller (Brilliant Sulk), Donald Mills (Crabby Old Fart), Girl On The Contrary, Heather Monley (McSweeney’s), Japecake, Helen Killer (Regretsy), Jayvee Fernandez (A Bugged Life), Joe Marczynski (Sick Chirpse), Lucy Horton (A Little Lucidity), Sean Adams (McSweeney’s)…

Posts from Storify, Craigslist, DamnYouAutoCorrect, Facebook, Texts From Last Night, Twitter, When Parents Text, and more…


Date a girl who blogs

UPDATE: Date a girl who blogs is now part of a NY-based theater performance by Lively Productions


Date a girl who blogs. Date a girl who finds solace in sharing her most private letters to the noises of the world. She has a rhythm to the writing, as the sounds — the tap-tap-tapping — are touched with every bit of emotion she can muster. She’s writing, ignoring the 9% battery warning as she tries to add a little more perspective to your world.

Date a girl who blogs. Find her that new restaurant and wait for her, patiently, as she skims through the menu, to cherish the Serifs and italics of the posh, and the Arials and doodles of the diner. Watch her order, and question the waiter, and then the head chef to hear a story you’ve never cared to hear before. You will learn. Watch her envelop her tongue at the morsel awaiting judgement, then chew, her face barely betraying a smile as she takes down notes on a torn paper napkin. She forgot her notebook. Buy her one. And seal it with the URL of your new blog.

Today she’s doing more than just writing. She’s moving the widgets, repositioning the ads and maybe doing a bit of SEO. Help her. Buy her a new domain — buy it for 3 years with a promo code — and then maybe configure a forwarding email address, because you know deep down that self-hosted email servers are a thing of the past.

Share her posts on Facebook. Like them. Create a hashtag for your affection to her and let her come to this knowledge through the Internet, but follow through in real life. Your story deserves to be written down.

Suggest her for #FollowFriday.

Go out on dates. Let her heart open up to you and digest these memories into a single post which will be remembered in the archives of our search engines. Kiss. Change your relationship status. Kiss some more. Add her friends. You now have more mutual friends. Tag your photos together. Add her on Farmville. Harvest her farm. Poke her.

You are no longer forever alone.

Marry a girl who blogs. Propose to her by making a website with animated gifs and MIDI background music; she will show you the secret journal she’s been writing for years for you, and you alone. You will find that it comes with no ads, no links, no page rank. Only her trust rank. You will be overjoyed to read the fondness she has had of you, and realize that this, and this alone is the memory she chose to keep from her readers.

Have kids with a girl who blogs. Let her post photos and status updates about your children. Share them with your friends. You will see that she has saved everything onto a USB drive and printed the most fond ones for a real family album because the grandparents are not on the Internet.

Date a girl who blogs because she will find interestingness in the most uninteresting of things. You deserve to be interesting and that this life you live, though monotonous in its day to day is the perfect testament to why she loves you.


Are you a girl who’s yet to start a blog? There’s a myriad of reasons to get started with your blogging journey, see here for a blogging tutorial.

As inspired by Date a girl who reads and You should date an illiterate girl